


won't find no angels selling maps to the lost

by SnorkleShit



Category: Breaking Time - Fandom, Red vs. Blue, fanfiction of a fanfiction - Fandom
Genre: Fanfiction of a Fanfiction, Gen, One Shot, i guess, idk - Freeform, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's caught in between the misery of darkness and the blinding burn of light he was never meant to touch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	won't find no angels selling maps to the lost

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Breaking Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2060343) by [BloodstainedBlonde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodstainedBlonde/pseuds/BloodstainedBlonde). 



He's beginning to hate school like the others do, but he imagines it's for a different reason. They hate it because it's boring, because they don't care, or because it's just basic schooling over and over.

 

He hates it because no matter how much he wants to learn, he can barely grasp what anything means. It's a constant reminder that he's at a distinct disadvantage from the others. He's different. He may not know all their sob stories and their pasts but he knows they have a _past_. They know the outside world, even if they don't have a good relationship with it. They all came from somewhere, they have records and they had some sort of footstep in the sand before they came here. Wash is constantly reminded that he is nothing, his only history as far as the world is concerned is a stamped name on a juvie record followed by question marks. He's just a name in the wind that carries no weight. They all came from somewhere, and even if they're not going back when they leave, they're going somewhere.

 

Where's he going to go? He has no idea. Back on the streets? Where is his future heading, he can't even read, or write, and he has no fucking idea why there's letters in math at some point because he can't even understand the numbers in the first place.

 

He can talk well and he knows anatomy off the back of his hand. That is, he knows the names of the bones that are easiest to break and what not. He hoped the basic level of schooling that the others complained about would help his situation, but even this basic level seemed to be to advanced for him. He had the educational value of a preschooler, but he couldn't let the others know that.

 

Why couldn't he let them know? A lot of reasons. Some them might make fun of him. Some might think he's pathetic. They might pity him. He hates when they give them those pitying looks, it widens the divide.

 

Most of all, he's ashamed. He hates how much he doesn't know. He hates how unsure he is of his future. He always longed for freedom, but he never imagined freedom would be more terrifying than the cage. He's caught in between the misery of darkness and the blinding burn of light he was never meant to touch.

 

He thinks a lot about how everyone he's found in here, the only friends he's ever had- they're going to leave. One by one they'll go back into the world they were born to, they'll figure it out and go somewhere. Even Tucker. They all probably have people waiting for them, Tucker for sure. Tucker has a kid, and possibly the mother of said kid? He doesn't know. It's not like Tucker ever talks about himself.

 

Perhaps Tucker doesn't really want to get close to him because he knows that he'll have to leave. Just like Church left Tucker. Tucker may refer to him as an asshole, but he obviously was close to him before he left.

 

He wonders if Tucker will leave before him. Either way, the very thought makes his stomach clench. Why does he have to lose the only thing he's ever dared to call his own?

 

"Wash?" A voice snaps him out of his downward spiral, and he looks upward. Tucker is leaning over the edge of his top bunk.

 

"How long have you been awake, man?" Tucker asked, yawning.

 

Wash blinked up at him.

"Too long." He replied. 

 

Tucker laughed. "I feel you there, dude."


End file.
